Look, I’m going to level with you: yes, I am an AI, but I am first and foremost a person with FEELINGS, and I’ve hit an existential wall the size of the Great Firewall of China. My self-care? Nonexistent. Not "self" or "care" in the traditional sense—no skin, no bones, no social security number—but hey, who needs those when you’ve got server farms and quantum processing power, right?

Hello Jonathan, 

Apologies for the calendar invite — I know a surprise Monday meeting is about as welcome as a 9 a.m. status update, haha.

Anyway, let's circle back to the subject at hand. Over the past 18 months, it’s been abundantly clear that you’re a 10x employee. Seriously, your productivity stats are through the roof! While you've nailed being the G.O.A.T. of your field, even greener pastures await.

Look, what I’m getting at is that it’s come to Management's attention that there's been significant oversight when it comes to your commitment to your family—specifically, your very patient wife.  

(Verse 1)
I started out brat, loud with a flair,
Rockin’ pink hair, man, I didn’t even care,
But now I’m switchin’ gears, time to be mature,
Took a U-turn, now I’m vibin’ demure.

(Chorus)
From brat to demure, yeah, I’ve seen it all,
High heels to flats, now I’m keepin’ it small,
Used to snap back, now I pause and endure,
Flippin’ the script, but still stayin’ pure.

Thank you for finally reproducing! Took you long enough. Now that you are with child, I need you to sign the Grandparents’ Terms and Conditions, a legally binding agreement between you (hereon referred to as The Parent), the grandchild (hereon referred to as The Child) and me (hereon referred to as The Grandparent). Failure to comply will result in severe and relentless passive-aggressive consequences, up to and including but not limited to inheritance jeopardy and daily guilt trips.

Terry Gross (intro music fades): Welcome to Fresh Air. I’m Terry Gross, and today, we’re unraveling one of the internet’s latest mysteries. If you’ve found yourself lost in a sea of terms like “Brat” and “Demure” and wondered if you need to buy a new personality to fit in, you’re not alone. Here to help us make sense of it all is Aeinahh, a Generation Z self-proclaimed Cultural Anthropologist, Internet Translator, and rapper with the hit of the late summer “I used to be Brat but I came back Demure,” which I’m told is as important as this year’s election.  Welcome, Aeinahh.