Contextualizing Brat vs. Demure: A Fresh Air Conversation
Terry Gross (intro music fades): Welcome to Fresh Air. I’m Terry Gross, and today, we’re unraveling one of the internet’s latest mysteries. If you’ve found yourself lost in a sea of terms like “Brat” and “Demure” and wondered if you need to buy a new personality to fit in, you’re not alone. Here to help us make sense of it all is Aeinahh, a Generation Z self-proclaimed Cultural Anthropologist, Internet Translator, and rapper with the hit of the late summer “I used to be Brat, but I came back Demure,” which I’m told is as important as this year’s election. Welcome, Aeinahh.
Aeinahh: Thank you, Terry. It’s great to be here, although I should mention it’s spelled A-E-I-N-A-H-H with a silent second ‘h’, but pronounced Anna. It’s a whole vibe.
Terry: Of course, my apologies. Jerry, if you’re listening—and you’d better be, you’re my producer—you’re fired after you edit this out. Alright, let’s get to it. What exactly is “Brat”? What’s the difference between "Brat" and "a brat"? And what’s this “Demure” business? Please talk about your hot take on what these terms mean for those of us from the 1900’s.
Aeinahh: Excellent questions, Terry. So, “a brat” is what your grandmother calls you when you won’t eat the Kraft beef ravioli she made for you when she knows you’ve been vegan and completely free range organic for 12 years. But “Brat,” capital B, is a whole new identity—born out of rebellion and fueled by Charli XCX’s latest album. Brat is about living your life on your own terms. It’s keg stands of Diet Coke with vodka at 11 a.m. It’s smeared mascara. It’s neon palettes and midriffs. It’s the good kind of chaos. It’s what we all want to be doing instead of letting emails find us.
We all learned the word “Demure” when TikToker and transgender woman Jools Lebron decided to abandon her Brat Summer era to grow up and get a job. Her vids taught us how to be “very demure, very considerate, very mindful” about dressing up for work and other spaces where Brat is just not welcome. Demure is sipping on tepid herbal tea. Rising with the sun for a 6 a.m. yoga class. It’s neutrals. It’s a full pant. Hey, maybe it’s pleats.
Terry, interupping: So Brat screams, “I do what I want,” Demure whispers, “I’d rather not, but thanks for asking.”
Aeinahh: Brat is your inner maiden—unapologetic and full of life. Demure is your inner mother, older, wiser, worried. But the dichotomy of Brat and Demure cannot exist without each other—like peanut butter and peanut allergy.
Terry (laughing): I’ve heard people say, “Inside me are two wolves,” and now I’m imagining one wolf shopping for Gucci knockoff purses online at 4:23 a.m. after coming home intoxicated after a Tinder date, while the other thoughtfully window shops IRL at a mom and pop retail shop on their lunch break. Would you say that’s accurate?”
Aeinahh: Yes, yes. But here’s the twist: those wolves don’t need to fight. You can be both Brat and Demure, or switch between them depending on the vibe.
Terry: So you could say one is Demure in the sheets, and Brat on the streets?
Aeinahh: Yeeeessss, I suppose I am saying that. But you should also know that Brat and Demure aren’t mutually exclusive—they also exist on a spectrum. Just like gender, Brat and Demure are fluid. Some days, you’re 46% Brat and 64% Demure; other days, you’re flipping those numbers faster than you can change from yoga pants to power suit. It’s about balance. Maybe there’s vodka in your coffee when you’re on that zoom call. Maybe your black minis are all dirty and you had to wear jeans to the party.
Terry (forcing a smile): Thank you for that enlightening discussion. I am personally still confused, but that’s all we have time for. Coming up next, I’m being forced to explore why everyone is suddenly convinced their true essence can be summed up by a Taylor Swift lyric so my show can continue to stay relevant. Stay tuned.
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